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I was very excited to try out your Forty Beads Method with my husband. We’ve had a pretty rocky marriage including lots of problems around sex. I’m mortified to tell you that I found out this week that my husband has been having sex with prostitutes—again. I know it would be a difficult thing to start, but do you think your method could help us repair our relationship? I’m heartbroken and angry, but I do love him. What do I do?
Honey, no. I’m afraid that all the pain he’s put you through has melted your brain a little bit. This would not be a time to take up The Forty Beads Method. You can’t have sex with a man who’s sampling from the wrong side of the tracks, even if he is your husband. Just wouldn’t be safe. The Forty Beads Method is for couples who are in at least a somewhat healthy relationships and I know I don’t have to tell you, this one is sucking wind. My heart is cracking wide open for you. If there is something salvageable here, find yourself a good couples therapist. Maybe after the healing has begun, you could consider using The Forty Beads Method then. I’ll be here to help, if you need me!